An apology and a correction - Dominic Steele

An apology and correction in regards to our episode of Tuesday 10 June 2025.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Acknowledging the mistake
• 1:57 Expressing gratitude for feedback
• 2:26 Apology to neurodivergent community
• 3:20 Reflecting on wrong framing
• 4:14 Personal learning and blind spots
• 4:51 Final apology and request

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:31

I made a mistake with the pastor's heart on Tuesday and I wanted to apologise. It is a privilege that you choose to join me each Tuesday for the pastor's heart discussion and my goal is to serve the pastor and the pastoral team and, by serving you, serve our congregations everyone in our congregations, especially the vulnerable. I wish I got it right all the time. I'm very sorry I didn't get this one right. I'm grateful for the courageous frankness of those who spoke up, the patience shown towards me in many of the comments and the goodwill from many of the commentators, and for the things that I have learned. Lots of people have given me feedback online and via phone and email, and I really appreciate the way you've been able to tutor me here. This has been a significant learning experience for me. I want to apologise to our neurodivergent listeners and viewers and their families, carers and friends that were hurt by the way I framed the discussion. Last week Someone wrote every single neurodivergent person I've ever worked with expresses that they've carried shame for being different their whole life until they understood that they had value to God, even though this was rarely experienced in the Christian community. Another comment was that people felt othered, shamed and discouraged. I don't want that to be my heart or the heart of the pastor's heart. I'm sorry. I've received the depth of your pain and I'm sorry for how I framed the discussion and how that might have made it harder for you. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt anyone or to hurt a parent, carer or friend and I want to acknowledge that the way I approached it did that and I apologise On reflection. It was a mistake to address the topic I was attempting to address under the heading of neurodiversity, the issue that I had hoped to explore the real challenges on ministry teams when relational cues are misread and the problems this has meant for hurting churches and staff teams that should not have been linked to neurodivergence. That framing was wrong. On reflection, if I'd formed a discussion under that heading, reading others' relational cues, it would have been much better and I'm sorry that framing led me to present neurodivergent people through a deficit lens, overlook the strengths and contributions and diversity within neurodivergent experiences, and I'm sorry.

Speaker 1: 2:58

As I've read through the various comments and critiques, I've learned so much more, been so helped, amongst other things, the diversity of neurodivergence, joys and challenges. In the way I framed it I was too narrow and I conflated a number of issues and their potential outworkings. I should not have raised the issue of speculation of diagnosis. I want also to acknowledge that I have my own blind spots and relational limitations. As I sought to talk about the weaknesses of ministers in relational skills, I want to note that I myself have failures in this area and I recognise this is something I need to be vigilant about in my own conduct, including as host of this program. Finally, it is clear that this is an area that I need to do a whole lot more learning in. I'm sorry that I got this wrong and that I let you down. Please forgive me.